I have been selected to receive an "Unsung Hero Award" that will be honored with many other exceptional individuals on November 30, 2011 by the Alzheimer's Association MA/NH Chapter. I have been asked to speak for about 4 minutes. This is the first time I will need to prepare a speech and not sure even where to begin as my journey with The Alzheimer's Association started 8 years ago and my driving force for helping others with dementia is very hard to explain or describe. Where do I begin?
I participated in my first Memory Walk at Veteran's park in Manchester, NH 8 years ago when NH & VT chapters were merged. It was a joke. No support was offered. We raised very little money and had hardly any walkers. I was then asked to help out the following year.
The next year I ran the walk. We spent a tremendous amount of time organizing the walk and having a lot of pre-event activities and doubled the amount we raised. We had many more walkers and a lot more support. After this event I was then informed VT was severing it's relationship with NH and closed their office in Concord, NH. UGH!
I then find out the MA chapter was interested in merging with NH. This year was a re-organizing year that has paid off very well for NH residents. Entering into my world next is the NH office staff that opened a office in Bedford, NH. They have been wonderful. Many benefits to the residents of NH seeking information and help.
At this point our awareness and fundraising began to explode. Keep in mind when I began eight years ago we only raised about $12,000 or so from my memory and now we are close to $175,000. A tremendous increase.
Why do I do this? I must have a connection to the disease right? Not a first! I can now say I do with several relatives now going through their journey. My grandmother had a very short journey but had passed from unrelated issues not related to dementia.
I do this because I see firsthand what families are dealing with. My very first experience was with Russell. I gentleman I met in his 80's who lived at home until late in the disease when he moved in with his daughter. Russell understood he had an issue but was happy. He was what I called a pleasure to help. His daughter was fully committed to give him the best care possible. Unfortunately I saw this tear up the family. The son and other daughter never visited and neither did any grandchildren. No one offered support. Why? It's hard to know why but seeing this made me angry and has given me fuel to fight. How could anyone not want to help Russell?
My next inspiration has come from Romeo. Romeo is a very nice man that I had gotten to know him from taking care of his wife whom suffered a stroke. After a about a year after her passing we were called in to watch over Romeo whom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I still see Romeo and visit occasionally. He always has a big smile for me. We just have a special connection.
Over the years I have educated myself. I see this disease often in the public. Just recently my husband I went out to dinner. We saw an older couple exiting the same time as us. The wife was unsteady so I told the husband I would stay with her until he pulled up the car. While we waited we had a short conversation and I knew she had a cognitive deficit and she confirmed my suspicion when she stated she had an upcoming appointment she with a Doctor. It's amazing to see how much this disease really is spreading. I am meeting families all the time and trying to steer them in the right direction and offer support and education to the best of my ability.
This disease has surrounded me! I see it exploding and taking quality of life from many families. When a client explained to me, "It's those marbles right here causing the problem", how can you not try and help?
When a daughter cries for help because her mother won't listen to her and her safety is at risk, how can you not try and help?
When a prominent former attorney answers the door in his underwear after always being dressed in a suit and tie when you previously met, how can you not try and help?
When a family states we have tried help before but they always throw them out, how can you not try and help?
When a husband cries because he is loosing his best friend, how can you not try and help?
We have many improvements to make in the medical community so families are treated and educated correctly. I cringe when I hear stories of families looking for more information but not being given what they truly need. I have a mission and will not stop until we see progress and results.
I am honored to receive this award and feel that everyone should be doing what I am doing so we can make some progress and defeat Alzheimer's disease.
I would like to thank everyone that supports me and my mission and together we WILL make a difference.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Family first at least for some!
I have been blessed with one great family! They have supported me from day one when I wanted to play soccer and was one of the first females, that is I was one of 8, in the City of Manchester that was brave enough for the challenge. Who would have known it is now one of the most popular sports in the city? I reflect on this because our family supports each other. We have supported each other for our various charity events, through health crisis, weddings, births and attending special events.
I clearly remember when my Grandmother Rachel passed away. She was very giving and remember all the laughs we had while cleaning out her home after she passed away. Our family came together to unite and help each other out. We had a great time and had lots of great memories and laughs during this difficult time. To this very day I still have a small doll that was placed on one of her birthday cakes with her picture taped to the face. I always laugh when it catches my eye. This side of my family is solid. We have traditions that have gone on for many generations. Every Christmas at 1pm we all gather together. We each contribute to the meal, help clean up and do dishes and then we open up gifts, play games and just talk.
It is sad to say the other side of my family is the opposite. My grandparents were very caring and giving and also volunteered endless hours to their community. We always gather for the holidays and have had many great memories. My grandmother would always do the majority of the work for the holidays. When my Grandmother Ginny passed away the family broke and fell apart. I was truly heartbroken that some family would be so selfish during a critical time. My grandmother fell sick and when she and my grandfather needed family by their side they were only supported by a few. Still to this day I don't quite understand how you can not support your family when they need you most.
My Grandfather is now starting his next chapter and had come to the decision to sell his home and move to a great place. His eyesight is getting very poor and will need to limit his driving. He was going to dinner to either his nephews home or my parents home daily for his nutritional needs. I don't cook very well so his options were limited. Our family has spent endless hours again between my parents, brothers and nephew helping him get organized and clean out his home and donate to charity. We spent hours going through pictures and boxed them for different members of the family. I see my "Bumpy" weekly. He stops by and has coffee at work. I also have hired a caregiver to help him at his home. He is slowing down but still needs to be loved by his family. He is a bit stubborn but when allowed to make his own decisions he is making the right choices. I love him to pieces.
I met with a couple several years ago that made me cry. They were looking into services and are distant family members. They also felt abandoned by family and had tears in their eyes as they explained their situation. The rarely saw their family and felt all alone. They actually asked for minimal help and were rejected. All I could do was offer my support and told them to try and reach out again. It is situations like this that tears my heart apart. They did end up moving into a great community that offered them additional support that they needed.
At this time I feel extremely sad as one of the couple above has moved into a nursing home and is nearing the end of her life. I did talk with the social worker whom stated the husband visits daily but they rarely see any other family visit.
I hear stories of abandonment all the time. Some families may have a small family support system that could be overwhelming to them. This is why our agency exists today. To offer them support and love in the absence of family. Seniors should not be ignored or forgotten about by their family. If you cannot support in person then support them via telephone calls and send greeting cards or better yet find someone to assist them if you can't. We need to sacrifice of ourselves to give back to them as they sacrificed for us at one time.
I clearly remember when my Grandmother Rachel passed away. She was very giving and remember all the laughs we had while cleaning out her home after she passed away. Our family came together to unite and help each other out. We had a great time and had lots of great memories and laughs during this difficult time. To this very day I still have a small doll that was placed on one of her birthday cakes with her picture taped to the face. I always laugh when it catches my eye. This side of my family is solid. We have traditions that have gone on for many generations. Every Christmas at 1pm we all gather together. We each contribute to the meal, help clean up and do dishes and then we open up gifts, play games and just talk.
It is sad to say the other side of my family is the opposite. My grandparents were very caring and giving and also volunteered endless hours to their community. We always gather for the holidays and have had many great memories. My grandmother would always do the majority of the work for the holidays. When my Grandmother Ginny passed away the family broke and fell apart. I was truly heartbroken that some family would be so selfish during a critical time. My grandmother fell sick and when she and my grandfather needed family by their side they were only supported by a few. Still to this day I don't quite understand how you can not support your family when they need you most.
My Grandfather is now starting his next chapter and had come to the decision to sell his home and move to a great place. His eyesight is getting very poor and will need to limit his driving. He was going to dinner to either his nephews home or my parents home daily for his nutritional needs. I don't cook very well so his options were limited. Our family has spent endless hours again between my parents, brothers and nephew helping him get organized and clean out his home and donate to charity. We spent hours going through pictures and boxed them for different members of the family. I see my "Bumpy" weekly. He stops by and has coffee at work. I also have hired a caregiver to help him at his home. He is slowing down but still needs to be loved by his family. He is a bit stubborn but when allowed to make his own decisions he is making the right choices. I love him to pieces.
I met with a couple several years ago that made me cry. They were looking into services and are distant family members. They also felt abandoned by family and had tears in their eyes as they explained their situation. The rarely saw their family and felt all alone. They actually asked for minimal help and were rejected. All I could do was offer my support and told them to try and reach out again. It is situations like this that tears my heart apart. They did end up moving into a great community that offered them additional support that they needed.
At this time I feel extremely sad as one of the couple above has moved into a nursing home and is nearing the end of her life. I did talk with the social worker whom stated the husband visits daily but they rarely see any other family visit.
I hear stories of abandonment all the time. Some families may have a small family support system that could be overwhelming to them. This is why our agency exists today. To offer them support and love in the absence of family. Seniors should not be ignored or forgotten about by their family. If you cannot support in person then support them via telephone calls and send greeting cards or better yet find someone to assist them if you can't. We need to sacrifice of ourselves to give back to them as they sacrificed for us at one time.
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